The f*ck post

I don't know if I have a cold or allergies or what, but I am getting Goddamned sick and tired of swallowing snot. It is fucking gross, and I want to puke. Not to mention the fact that I can't lay down w/out feeling like I am going to drown.
I have nasty fucking cramps and I'm tired.
I am tired of these stupid fucking commercials, all of the stupid ones - go fuck yourselves stupid commercials.
Crash is a really good movie.
Why didn't Joaquin Phoenix win an Oscar for Walk the Line?
If my dog gets any closer to me he'll actually be in my butt.
Alex was a real peach tonight - a real little gem, just a non-stop laugh festival. I think this tooth that is coming in has a shitty attitude wrapped all around it or something.
If my uterus had a name this week, it would be Rico. He'd be hairy and swarthy, and his breath would smell and he'd have bad teeth. He'd wear a dirty whitish-grey t-shirt, and he would use language almost as bad as mine. He'd yell a lot, and kick puppies, and his feet would stink. He'd have hair coming out of his ears and he'd only eat food that comes wrapped in wax paper. He'd come to visit and fart on your couch, he'd use all of the toilet paper and not say anything about it, he'd use just about all of the milk and just leave a little sip in the carton. His visit would feel like it would never end.
That's where I am. BAAAAAAHHH!!!!