Sunday, June 14, 2009

It's been a long time.

Oops - if anybody remembers this blog, I apologize - it's odd how you can completely forget that things ever existed. But I did.

Anyway, I have missed months of interesting blog opportunities, I am 9 months pregnant and just as complainy as ever - actually maybe it's for the best that I didn't have this outlet. I probably would have alienated everyone that read it, in one way or another.

So I'm 4 days away from being officially full term, it's been a pretty easy pregnancy so far - a couple of things here and there but nothing like my first pregnancy, which was a spotting/preterm labor/bedrest/holy shit fiesta from start to finish. This girl has been fairly easy overall, aside from the nausea and constipation and headaches that plagued my first and second trimesters. The third tri has been good, and now I am ready to knock out the heavy cleaning that I've been waiting on and start going for long labor-inducing walks. And doing other labor-inducing things, wink wink.

The biggest issue I've had with this preg is the guilt I have been feeling about having a second child. Every time I start to get excited about the new baby, I think about my existing baby, and how this is all going to rock his world. And most likely not in a good way. Alex is a very sensitive child, and I am so worried that he is going to suffer. I know in the long run having a sibling is going to be wonderful for him, for all of us - I just hope it isn't too traumatic for him. My poor little baby. I keep fucking up and doing stupid insensitive things in the name of baby preparation - ie. taking old toys of his and putting them in the baby's room (shit he hasn't touched or thought about in months and months, I swear) and other things like that that I only later realize probably freak him out. I've never had 2 kids before, these things don't occur to me. Plus I am dealing with a healthy dose of pregnancy-induced stupidity that is not helping things at all.

But we'll get through it, everyone else does I suppose.

One good thing about having one kid already is I am not terrified of labor the way I was with Alex. I know it hurts incredibly, unbelievably, but the nice thing is the pain isn't constant, it doesn't last forever, and I know I can do it so I'm okay with that part. We do live further from the hospital now, Glenn is relying on public transportation to get home from Boston now and he didn't before - so it could potentially take him a couple of hours to get home - and I do have a little boy who is not going to be at all interested in helping me breath thru contractions if I am home alone with him, so those are the parts of labor that are terrifying me - the logistics. But that is me - I'm an obsessive-compulsive planning freak, so these 'unplanable' things really mess me up.

So that's my update - I hope to get back in the swing of blogging, I will have lots of middle-of-the-night time I'm sure while somebody is hanging off of my nipple and keeping me awake. And I'm not talking about Glenn.