Saturday, January 30, 2010

There's just something about a 3 year old that swears.

Something awesome, that is. He's still young enough so that when he throws his hands up in the air and says 'where's my fuckin' blankie??' with that look that I know could be transplanted directly onto my face the next time I'm looking for my keys or wallet that makes my mother heart fill up with twisted pride. My kid was in speech therapy, he didn't talk for a long time and then when he started he was very hard to understand so I am super proud that he has enough of a grasp on the English language that he can add in obscenities, and do it with such casual panache. He locked himself in his room a couple of weeks ago, and the best part - the only good part, really - of the whole fiasco was him shouting 'open the fucking door!' Why he has latched on to 'fuck' I'm not sure, because I pepper my speech liberally with any expletive I can muster in time to work in the sentence before it comes screeching out of my mouth - but I guess he has decided that he will go straight to the top of the curse word hierarchy, right up to the big kahuna.
I also love that he's starting to make up words that I am pretty sure are swears but since I don't speak threeyearold I can't call him on it. For instance, 'Pum'. When I tell him to do/not do something he says 'okay Pum Mummy' - hmmm. Good one, kid.
Now I know that it won't be funny for much longer, and I surely do hope I'm not there the first time he drops the F Bomb at my in-law's house (although secretly I will never be prouder, b/c something about sitting uncomfortably in that stuffy living room certainly makes me want to say and do inappropriate things) and we really need to break him of this before we send him off to be taught by nuns next year at the crunchy preschool we have picked out. But for now when we are in the car and get cut off in traffic and I hear floating up from the back seat 'fucking car' I just want to turn around, give him a salute, and choke out 'Well said, son. Well said.' as I wipe a tear from my eye.

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